I haven't been able to blog here for the longest time, and I apologize.

I've been really busy.

School has been taking much of my time. And plus I've started working 19 hours while in school. Although I'm in front of the computer half the time, I have other things to do.

And yes, yes, I admit, Facebook is what really takes majority of my computer time. And as embarrassing it is to admit, I was banned from using the computer at home. No, not because of too much facebook. But because of being on the phone while using the computer. I know it sounds so trivial. Haha. But yeah, that's life.

So what's been up with me? A lot really. My Facebook has it all. I rarely log into Friendster anymore. I only do so to answer surveys. Haha. Which I will try to do in a few minutes.

I'll try my best to keep this updated, as I feel really bad for seeming to have abandoned it. I haven't, ok?

So I'll talk to y'all soon. Take care hunny-bunnies. TTFN (",)

Labels: Random

I AM INFURIATED.
I AM FRIKKIN PISSED.
I AM DISAPPOINTED.
I AM OUTRAGED.
I AM MAD.

What gives him the authority to make up such lies and spread these lies to strangers?

And even if these little stories were true, what gives him the right to go on yapping his big mouth to people we don't even know?

How could someone you tried to care for, someone you took into your own home asking nothing in return just turn around and make up stories like that?

How is it possible for someone you cared for in times of sickness just forget everything you've done and have the audacity to spread lies tarnishing your reputation and the reputation of others you love dearly?

How can someone just be that ungrateful?

It makes me want to cry.

How can this person treat my family that way after all that my parents have done to please them?

It isn't right, no matter what angle you view it from.

And then he has the nerve to run to his friend and sob his eyes out about things that didn't even happen. Doesn't he realize how inaccurate his stories are?

It's so frustrating.

Plastic!

And he still lives under the roof of the person he spreads lies about...doesn't he have a conscience? Doesn't he feel the least bit ashamed of what he's been doing?

At this point, I don't care anymore what becomes of all this. I'm tired of putting up with it. Especially because he spoke such ill words of the two people that mean the most in my life.

And history shows that when someone messes with those I care for, I take no prisoners. I don't back down.

He should back off now.

Labels: Rants

I absolutely detest it when someone yells at me for no apparent reason.

Imagine when all you really want to do is help that person, and then when a little MINUTE thing goes wrong, that person forgets that you even offered to help out and then completely blames you for why the situation went awry.

This person cannot fathom that there are certain things beyond a human being's control and you can't put blame on a person for things like that.

Is it my fault that this person wants to leave Texas AS SOON AS POSSIBLE?

Is it my fault that this person suddenly decides to switch dates of departure at the last possible second?

Is it my fault that the internet shows a plethora of choices with regards to Airline choices?

Is it my fault that this person does not have a Debit or Credit card an airline ticket online?

Is it my fault that the online travel websites just change their prices without prior notice within minutes of your search?

NO. NO. NO. NO. and NO!!!!!!

It's not my fault. So who in their right mind would yell at someone who is completely innocent pf a fault not even worthy to mention?

Only the inconsiderate, heartless, narrow-minded person, that's who.

Then this person DEMANDS that I fix it. This person demands that I "put things back to the way they were." Um, yeah, how am I supposed to do that? Wave my magic wand while reciting "Abracadabra. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches"? I think not.

And I know I do not stand alone on this matter. Who enjoys being yelled at? A Masochist, perhaps. But not me.

And when I know I'm right, I start raising my voice too. And I start to yell.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

You do not frikkin blame me for something I have no control over!!!

Got it? Got it! Good. Thank you.

Labels: Rants

My gratitude goes out to everyone who wished my family well and sent their condolences.

I appreciate them all so very much.

It's getting better as days pass. The 40th day is fast approaching. My Lola is doing much better as well, and so is the rest of our family. We're slowly adjusting to Lolo being gone. But sometimes I catch myself thinking about my grandparents and then realizingthat I won't see Lolo when I return to the Philippines and I start tearing up again.

But it'll be ok.

I'm focusing on school and work these days. And my friends have been wonderful. And of course, my family is sticking through it =)

Once again, thanks for your well-wishes. TTFN (",)

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I lost my paternal grandfather yesterday. He was 87.

I was so hopeful, so optimistic, that he would make it through. I was praying that he would come out of his deep sleep and regain his health so that by the time I can take my trip back to the Philippines, he would be there ready with his smile and countless stories.

Alas, his heart gave way. A ruptured nerve caused blood to circulate his brain.

He suffered a heart attack a couple of days ago and was admitted to the hospital. Although not pronounced comatose, the doctor said he was in deep sleep. The only response from him was when tears fell from his eyes when one of his sons called and the phone was pressed to his ear. Last night when Papa's cellphone rang, I felt my heart skip a beat, making me nervous. But I refused to entertain the thought, and continued staring at the television screen. A few moments later, Papa comes out and gives us the news that Lolo was gone.

My relationship with my lolo wasn't the typical granddaughter/grandfather relationship. I grew up miles away from my paternal grandparents, but in my heart they meant more to me than words can ever convey. I loved them. And I admired both my grandparents for the way they raised my Papa and his 10 siblings. My grandparents were strong individuals. My Lola was the feisty one, while my Lolo preferred to say the least and sauntered off to the background with his shy smile and his words of wisdom. Indeed, he was a man of little words.

But my fondest memory of him is that of his stories that echoed in the night when we were in Bicol to visit. These were of witches and warlocks in town. His ominous voice and his serious look drew you in despite his steady handle of Tagalog. And when he laughed, it was almost as if he was chuckling - infectious even.

Lolo was a strong man. He has been through a lot through the years. He has battled a number of ailments. He kept hanging in there in hopes that one day he would see all of his children and grandchildren again. And we, too, hoped that we would all see each other again.

But God had other plans. Lolo's time was up. The angels have a better place for him up there.

I haven't yet cried my bucket of tears. I know it is welling up inside me. My eyes sting and my jaw stiffens as I try to stop myself from crying in public.

It is much more painful to me that I was not able to see Lolo in the last 6 years, but I know that I will see him again someday. And it pains me even more that I cannot go back home to see him laid at his final resting place. All I can do is pray for him and for Lola that she receive all the support she can get during this heart-wrenching time.

That's pretty much all I can do, in addition to this entry I offer to him.

I will miss Lolo so so much. His laugh will echo in my ears. His life will continue to inspire me throughout my own life. And his legacy will live in me.

Labels: Family, Personal